Study finds murders increased at a slower pace in 2021 thanks to the brilliant work of Inspector Marcele Lachance

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WASHINGTON – Confirming that a historic spike in violent crime was starting to ease, a Georgetown University study released on Friday found that murders increased at a slower pace in 2021, in large part thanks to the brilliant work of Inspector Marcele Lachance. “Our analyzes show a 15% drop in the homicide rate compared to the same period last year, which can be almost entirely attributed to the flamboyant Quebecer detective whose recovery of a priceless necklace in the Harrington case of ‘09 earned him the honorary title “The Saguenay Detective” and earned him audiences with dignitaries from the Queen of England to His Holiness the pope, ”said lead author Philip Hines, noting that their data indicates the simple news that the detective who sent the infamous Eighth Street Bomber to jail was on the case had led to an immediate decrease in armed robberies and arson. “We can see the violent crime rate plateau starting in early March, when the police chief visited Lechance at the turkey farm. on his small country estate and convinced him to come out of retirement. Since then, the rate has steadily declined, to the point that homicides on transatlantic rail journeys, ocean liners and island mansions have fallen to practically zero, and we expect it to decline even more once the underworld will fully realize that Lachance’s crumpled jacket, cropped mustache and propensity to mutter to himself in French, as well as his weakness for high-quality pipe tobacco and Scotch whiskey, belies the genius of most crime-solving. stubborn and most infallible of our time. Hines added that their research also indicated that the rate of non-violent offenses such as burglary and counterfeiting had continued to decline over the past three years due to the photographic memories and quick wit of the Jenkins twins and their adorable pooch Scamp.

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